You’ve reached peak parenting when you’re required to read to your daughter’s stuffed animals.
My daughter keeps asking me to braid her hair and I never know what to do so it’s like hey here’s another ponytail
Once I brought her a cheeseburger happy meal instead of the chicken nuggets she always gets. Frankly, I could’ve murdered Olaf and gotten less drama.
Irony: Asking for a bite of something you paid for.
I’m in awe of the way she treats her plush dolls. She thanked Sadness and Officer Hopps for being her bffs, then scolded Pooh for betraying her trust and if Pooh did it again he’d be exiled from the friendship guild. A child’s imagination is something you do not mess with.
My daughter loves playing hide and seek at Target and never tell me that we’re playing hence why I bring the iPad into the store now
Other times she likes to play hot lava and honestly how can I not?
I mistakenly ate one of her lunchables and blamed it on Pooh
I’ve made roughly a thousand promises assuring she’ll get ice cream after dinner. She hasn’t cashed in on them yet and I’m truly terrified of the day when she does.
Parenting is just good negotiating.
Once my daughter finished her homework before we even got home and I contemplated if she was truly my kid
Then there are days when she refuses to do her homework and I’m like that’s my girl
The thing about also being a Disney fan alongside my daughter is that we can never agree on what to watch like sure we can do Frozen but what about Moana
I’ve never been angrier at her than when she caught a Pikachu before I did like this was from my generation wth
Incredibly surreal to have my daughter in school. I’ve had to sign a few forms now and I catch myself faking my mom’s signature
Whenever she falls asleep in the car I’m just like hell yeah it’s my turn at the Moana soundtrack
Parenting is good distracting.
Once at McDonald’s my daughter asked me why my meal doesn’t come with a toy like hers does. CARE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF, RONALD???
All this time I thought I was zoning out during Elena of Avalor but I realize I’m hooked like when are they gonna do another Sofia the First crossover because that last one was delightful
Nowadays, when I say it’s nap time my daughter tells me, “We don’t nap anymore,” to which I say, “Well I do.”
I love you, sweetie. Thank you for making these last six years the strangest and the most rewarding experiences of my life. Never grow up.