All the Conversations I’m Dreading This Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving (or Dreads-giving, as I like to call) is a time for families to gorge on the hum-drum details of one another. If your family is anything like mine, they’ll pop out of every nook and cranny in the house subjecting you to an endless interrogation: “Who are you?” “What are you hiding?” “Where were you on the night of _______?” Ah yes, the annual probing marked by passive-aggressive, or aggressive-aggressive jabs. Eating is one of two of my coping mechanisms, even more so on Turkey Day. As I fill up the flask and study the floor plan of my auntie’s house, here are all the nagging, drama-seeking questions and Hallmark card-advice I’m likely to get this Dreads-giving. (Based on previous Thanksgivings with the fam 😃)

  1. Are you still writing?
  2. Are you still single?
  3. [Insert latest Trump topic]
  4. What did you think of the turkey? (Instead of rotating turkey-duty, 3 of my aunts bring their own turkey to the table and then proceed to harass everyone into saying theirs was better.)
  5. Isn’t that your third piece of pumpkin pie?
  6. You sure gained a lot of weight.
  7. What’s it like being single? – Cousin who’s been in a relationship since high school
  8. Your daughter’s in 2nd grade now. She get a boyfriend yet? 😡
  9. You’ve totally got a beer belly now lol
  10. Did you try my turkey?
  11. Focusing on your career is good, but real happiness comes from your relationships. – Matchmaker Cousin
  12. [Insert latest Trump tweet]
  13. When are you going to get a real job? 🙃
  14. Your aunt’s turkey is so bland. Mines is better.
  15. What’s your credit score? – Uncle planning to buy a new car
  16. Let me set you up with a friend of mine. You two will hit it off.
  17. Remember when you used to be skinny?
  18. Who ate all of the pumpkin pie? ✋
  19. Could you be my co-signer?
  20. You should stop watching the news. It’s wrecking your brain. – Uncle who religiously watches Fox News
  21. Don’t have more than one kid.
  22. Love comes when you least expect it.

 

I’m grateful for my family. Our conversations, less so. I’ll be where the drinks are at.

Happy Thanksgiving

What We Talk About When We Talk About Cancelling People

TV shows get cancelled. Movies get cancelled. Clothing lines and parades get cancelled. Cancelling people is trickier to grasp, but we do it all the time. Someone says something that doesn’t align with our values so we un-follow. We shame, ridicule, threaten a boycott; demand for a swift removal from their jobs and the public sphere. Cancel is a button we hit when shaming isn’t enough. It is, as far as public image goes, its own Thanos finger-snap. Right now, we’re snap-happy. This has attributed to an entire culture on social media that relishes the takedown of anyone remotely problematic, high-profile figures especially. (The bigger they are…) Anyone on any day of the week might get hit with the C-word, but what does it mean exactly? What does any of it mean if James Gunn gets cancelled, while someone like Les Moonves gets the benefit of the doubtContinue reading

Best Bathroom Fights

What is it about bathrooms that make for great set-pieces? Toilets, sinks, soap dispensers, and hand dryers don’t exactly scream action, but easily broken ones sure do! (At least you know it’s gonna be a clean fight.) Whoever made these flimsy bathrooms either really suck or are low-key geniuses. Mission: Impossible – Fallout has been promising the mother of all bathroom fights so, to prepare, here are some epic cinematic toilet tussles that Fallout will have to live up to. I mean, shit literally goes down. Excuse the cheap pun, it’s been a really shitty week. That was the last one.  Continue reading

Comic-Con 2018 – Best Trailers

No, I didn’t change my Twitter handle to obnoxiously brag about my attendance this year. I experienced Comic-Con like the rest of you – vicariously through social media. Compared to the usual bombast, it was a rather light year for sneak-peeks. Disney, Marvel Studios, and Lucasfilm sat this one out, though it’s hardly a loss because they’ve got the D23 Expo. (Disney’s Comic-Con, basically). Not even HBO was in attendance, presumably because Game of Thrones is in the midst of shaping its feature-length final season.

With the usual suspects gone, Warner Bros. emerged as Comic-Con’s undisputed champ. AMC and BBC also debuted footage of their sizzling IPs, so literally everyone who’d typically be overshadowed by Marvel got their due justice this weekend. In standard ranking fashion, here’s a list of sneak peeks that’ll get the hype train going for me all summer long.  Continue reading

Being a Freelancer Means…

I’ve been freelancing for the better part of 6 months now. It’s been a rocky road, filled with uncertainty. (Life!) My anxiety is through the roof; I’ve had numerous breakdowns that this year is promising to be the 2007 to my Britney Spears. Yet, I’ve accomplished more writing in the last 6 months than I have in the past 2 years. This is easily the most excited I’ve been about my career, one that has finally taken off by liberating myself from the 9 to 5 work grind. It has lent a totally new perspective as far as what being a freelancer means:

  1. $$$$$
  2. Jk more like 🤷‍♂️ (me waiting for funds to be released from Escrow)
  3. Having a sense of humor
  4. Working from home 😃
  5. Working from home 🤪
  6. Creating a dedicated workspace (setting up is easy, it’s staying dedicated that’s the hard part)
  7. Extended lunch breaks
  8. Drinking—woah it got dark there for a sec
  9. Parameters. Lots and lots of parameters.
  10. Dealing with unrealistic client expectations i.e. the first draft will be perfect 😒
  11. Giving up paycheck security for creative fulfillment
  12. No longer having a Friday
  13. Always working, even when you’re not
  14. Working twice as hard for less than minimum wage
  15. Applying for gigs every. single. day. (I often dream about submitting proposals)
  16. Not being taken seriously by your own family
  17. Enduring comments about this not being “a real job”
  18. Explaining telecommuting and gig economy about 5 times a day
  19. Falling apart, and putting yourself back together again
  20. Constantly fighting procrastination, laziness, and self-doubt
  21. Resisting the impulse to give in (thus giving your doubters the satisfaction)
  22. Discovering your conviction as a writer
  23. Having an existential crisis every week
  24. Forging a career path on your own
  25. Forging a career path on your own.